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Masturbation doesn’t make you sexual, says sex expert Lori Brotto. She estimates that half of all asexuals stimulate themselves on a fairly regular basis. One female asexual said that while she masturbates about once a month, she has no idea why she does it; it just feels like something she’s biologically compelled to do. Finding the asexual community was a “relief,” he says, as it helped him better understand himself and “articulate some of the thoughts” he’d been having about his asexuality. Luke Bovard Though asexuals or ” aces ” are often seen as individuals who are devoid of sexual desire, incapable of sexual arousal and averse to interpersonal intimacy, both researchers and asexuals alike say these are largely misconceptions. In a study, Brotto says she found evidence that asexual women have a similar genital response to stimuli as sexual women — in other words, a comparable sexual arousal response. Still, despite evidence that sexual desire and arousal are not usually absent in asexuals, current research indicates that aces do have significantly lower sexual desire and arousal than sexual individuals. Orgasmic function also tends to be lower. Several aces even said that while they can experience orgasm a reflexive response , it is almost always — and this is a direct quote — “meh. Many aces say they think of nothing when they masturbate, while a handful indicated that certain fetishes, like BDSM, come to mind.

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I wanted to find a way of showing this through my blog, and the result would be two video episodes that remain a true highlight of My Fabulous Disease. What might it be like, I wondered, if I invited some friends living with HIV over to my place and the video chronicled our evening together? Was there value in showing our support and friendship? When Craig, Eric, James and Antron arrived for dinner, they plunged into the evening with startling honesty and affection for one another.

We talked about our mothers, and how and when we disclosed to family and friends. We talked about dating, and loneliness, and what we tell people who have just tested positive. So many people loved seeing a group of men with HIV supporting one another and having that level of honesty. For many viewers, simply seeing friends with HIV living happily was an inspiration.

They left comments about the tattooed, sexy James, and his candid stories of sex and disclosure. This time we skipped dinner and went directly to dessert, as I taught my friends how to bake my legendary brownies. Episode III is here , but I wanted to update you on their lives as they are today. The grief is something Eric can relate to, considering the loss of his partner Maxwell, about whom he shared in the second episode.

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Racism, sexism and homophobia are rife. Being black and gay also means being more exposed than most to the threat of HIV:

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Talking to other people helps us see that we are not the only ones with problems. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time as it is highly therapeutic. In the interim, you may want to start taking a multi-vitamin, Omega 3 and eat a diet high in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low-fat dairy and avoid processed foods, saturated and trans fats.

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